Hey mama, how are you?

Alice | Letters to my DaughterBlog, Parenting & Family, Support & Mental Health4 Comments

Header image: a woman sits at a metal table outside, holding a white mug in her hands. Her face is out of shot but her brown hair falls over her shoulder. (Hey mama, how are you? - Letters to my Daughter)

Hey mama, I know you’re busy. I know you’ve got a million plates spinning and a hundred balls in the air and you feel like if you stop to take a breath then everything will come crashing down around you and it will all be your fault. But I promise the world won’t end if you pause a while to breathe. Do nothing once in a while and just be.

Hey mama, I know your to do list is longer than any piece of paper could contain, and you feel guilty about some of the things that have slipped off the bottom. You’ve tried to prioritise but there just aren’t enough hours in the day to get it all done, especially with little people in tow. But remember all the things you have ticked off the list and give yourself a pat on the back. You’re doing an amazing job, and raising real life humans in the process!

Hey mama, I know your body doesn’t feel like your own anymore. I know it aches from fatigue and the physical acts of mothering day in, day out. You carry a tired child on your hip, you nurse your precious baby in your arms for hours, you envelope your upset children with your whole body and it’s all so wonderful and excruciating at the same time. But take a moment to stand straight and tall. Stretch your body, roll your shoulders back, and pay attention to how you feel. Your comfort matters too.

Hey mama, I know you’re tired. So tired you could cry some days, and other days you do just that. Your eyes feel raw and your head feels foggy and the end is so distant it’s not worth searching for. But it is there, it will come, and you’re doing a fab job. We all cry from the tiredness sometimes so please know you’re not alone. Cry when you need to, and do it unashamedly. Sometimes it’s just what you need to do.

Hey mama, I know you’re lonely. You’re with this small person the best part of 24 hours a day but they’re not always the best company. You want to have a conversation. You want someone to talk coherently back to you about something other than Iggle Piggle, and you want to be heard.  But you’re not the only lonely mama out there – don’t be afraid to reach out and find your tribe. They’ll hear you, and understand you, and be there to help you talk it all out.

Hey mama, I know you feel like you’ve forgotten who you were before you had little people in your life. You crave some time that’s just for you but feel guilty for wanting to be away from your family. You don’t want to go back to life ‘before’ but you don’t want it to disappear completely either. But it won’t disappear, and you won’t disappear. As your little people get a little bigger you’ll have more and more time to get in touch with yourself. Take opportunities for me-time whenever you can without adding extra pressure on yourself and never feel guilty about it – it’s not a pleasure, it’s a necessity.

Hey mama, I know it feels endless. Relentless. Uncompromising. Like you’re strapped in a roller coaster and it’s never going to stop, even if you ask nicely. Like this little person will need you forever, and you’ll forget who you are because you’ve given yourself so completely for so long. Like each ‘leap’ lasts an eternity only to dissolve into the next one, and the end point never quite arrives. But things do always come to an end. And that’s not a sad thing. Look to the future and the amazing person your child will become because of all that you do right now. You absolutely don’t have to enjoy every second, but you can be sure that each phase will pass when the time is right, and you’ll eventually be able to trade in the roller coaster for a ride that’s more your speed.

Hey mama, I know you. I was you. I am you.

Hey mama, how are you?

To the mums who feel alone, unheard, like there's no escape, or no end. This is for you. (Hey mama, how are you? - Letters to my Daughter)


4 Comments on “Hey mama, how are you?”

  1. I love this article, I can identify with almost every word. Especially where you say that not only do you want someone to talk to but you also want to be heard. I find that very hard in my house sometimes – with two little girls there is just so much noise! I’m smiling now but sometimes I really do want to cry. Thank you for the read, it’s a great piece 🙂

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