Dear Daughter: Don’t worry

Alice | Letters to my DaughterBlog, Dear Daughter, Parenting & Family, Personal, Support & Mental Health1 Comment

Header image. Dear Daughter: Don't worry. birds eye view of a blonde girl spinning with her hands on her head

Dear daughter,

Don’t worry, it will all be ok.

I was once approached in the high street by a young man with a clipboard. He said he was fundraising for Marie Curie who support people with terminal illness, and wanted to know if I’d sign up to donate regularly. He seemed really nervous – not the usual brash, confident type that makes me cringe and run away with a throw away line about being late. I felt for him, so I stopped and listened.

And do you know what? He convinced me! He handed me the clipboard and with a shaking voice asked me to fill out my details. I started writing them on the form, and then he kept talking…

…he started to tell me how my data would be safe because he wasn’t just a random person in the street pretending to be from a charity. And how he wouldn’t steal my bank details to gain access to my bank account…

…then as he kept talking, my mind raced to all the possibilities he was vocalising, and suddenly I was writing down a fake address and fake bank details. I was freaking out that all these things were actually a possibility and felt very awkward.

We can’t know what everyone else is thinking

Looking back, I’m sure he was legitimate, but he had clearly let his own insecurities and worries get the better of him. I can just imagine his mind racing, trying to anticipate what everyone around him was thinking and coming to the worst conclusions. He was desperately trying to placate those thoughts he was worried I held, and by doing so, he had the total opposite effect.

We can’t know what everyone else is thinking, and we can’t prepare for every eventuality. Sometimes you’ve just got to anticipate the best and crack on.

Birds eye view of blonde girl spinning in pink dress with her hands on her head.

Photo by Juliane Liebermann on Unsplash

Everything will be ok

I don’t know what you’re worried about right now, but I do know that everything will work out.

I will never belittle your problems, and I will never make you bury your emotions. But if you’re anything like me (and Mr Charity Fundraiser) you might just blow things out of proportion now and again. You’ll race through every possible scenario where things could go wrong, trying to plan for every eventuality so you aren’t caught off guard. But the majority of things you worry about will never actually happen.

After many years I’ve come to learn it’s a waste of precious time and thinking space. Really bad outcomes are extremely rare.

If you worry, you die

Your Grandad has always said “If you worry, you die, and if you don’t worry, you die. So why worry?”

It’s a great mantra and so very true!

Don’t anticipate what others will think or do. Be prepared yes, but don’t spend your whole life worrying about what might be, and get excited about the possibilities instead.

There are so many opportunities open to you. Have adventures, take a few risks… Consider the consequences but keep things in perspective.

Be brave my little one, you’ve got this, and whenever you feel like you don’t, well… that’s what I’m here for.

small section of lined paper with 'love mum x' typed on it.
Dear Daughter: Don't worry | Letters to my Daughter - A story about overthinking things and advice about how and why you don't need to worry.

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